walawei..

Ah Beng the crazy...hehe
*********************

Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed Lah !
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Ah Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.

Ah Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Ah Beng : "Give me a green one, please"
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Ah Beng is filling up an application form for a job.
He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc.
Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question.
After much thought, he writes " Yes "
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Ah Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.

Ah Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Ah Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Ah Beng : "I'll buy it"

The next day, Ah Beng goes to work with his thermo flask..

Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Ah Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Ah Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Ah Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"
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After taking photocopies of documents, Ah Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
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Why can't Ah Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

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Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Ah Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me Lah ?!"
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Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor.

The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring, lah, but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it
to my ear, lah"
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But ..........what happened to the other ear ?"
Ah Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back, lah !!!!"

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Ah Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.

Ah Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KL
AND LAS VEGAS ?"
Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Ah Beng : "THANK YOU lah" AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.
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After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.

"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Ah Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS ? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Ah Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS".

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At a bar in New York , the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE". The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
Ah Beng replies : "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED lah"

Jahil

Malaysia juara piala suzuki. cayalah bro lu orang menang. memang diluar jangkaan. siap dapat cuti umum lagi tu. thank you najib hidup 1malaysia!.

tapi bukan pasal tu aku nak ulas.
hari-hari kita boleh tengok orang yang terlebih pandai sehinggakan jadi jahil.
sebagai contoh : orang sibuk hanta angkasawan ke bulan kita tryla hanta angkasawan kita ke matahari pulak? tapi kan..matahari panas? ala..apa ada hal?kita hanta la time malam-malam.tak panas. ye..memang tak panas kan time malam-malam?

tu contoh kejahilan yang ada. pasal piala suzuki ni pulak ada satu kejahilan muncul. PM ke5 kita Dato' Seri Najib bagi cuti umum seluruh Malaysia sempena Malaysia Juara piala AFF pada 31disember iaitu pada hari jumaat, dan benda jahil yang aku dengar : hari tu imam, khatib, bilal, siak dan sebagainya pun bercuti pada hari itu. jadi sembahyang jumaat tak ada. yelah tu. ko memang jahil bagi pendapat tu.

Moral of the story kat neraka nanti tak kira malam atau siang tetap panas!

GARAJ KERETA

10minit yang telah berlalu. bapa aku bertanya kepada aku.
adakah patut dia membina garaj kereta?
dia bertanyakan pendapat aku.
bagi aku tak perlulah nak buat garaj-garaj ni kalau kereta setakat berapa bijik je. letak je lah kat mana-mana pun.
aku rasa hairan dan terkilan sebab bapa aku, sanggunp membelanjakan wang ringgit beliau hanya kerana kereta-kereta seperti gambar rajah 13.a di bawah.

gambar rajah 13.a

macam tak perlu sangat kan?

aku bangkang sekeras-kerasnya nak buatkan garaj untuk kereta-kereta yang tak seberapa ni.

serius..

Lagenda Budak Setan

Siapa pernah tengok atau lebuh tepat lagi menonton cerita lagenda budak setan ( LBS )?
kalau pernah angkat tangan.

aku pernah tengok cerita ni. aku bukanlah jiwang sangat nak. aku layan sebab Lisa Surihani. serius aku tak menangis tengok cerita ni. kot.

kawan aku tasek siap boleh hafal skrip cerita ni. sebagai contoh ketika farid hamil sedang berborak dengan pak cik kat kampung yang dia buat research, skripnya berbunyi " mana yang boleh pak cik bantu, pakcik bantu ". sampai benda tu pun dia hafal. pe kejadah dia hafal benda tu pun aku masih tak pasti

jap. aku terlupa. korang dah boleh turunkan tangan.

dalam cerita tu kasyah selalunya bawa dia punya DSLR. sekarang trend kan bawa natang tu? and ramai yang beli natang tu.

aku rasa macam nak beli 1 la.
tapi aku tak rasa aku ada bakat?
ramai je budak-budak yang bawa DSLR ke hulu hilir tapi capture gambar macam sampah sarap?
haha.

disebabkan itu aku terpikir. haruskah aku beli?
 tak payah kot. sebab aku adalah seorang yang photogenic,
jadi. biarlah orang capture gambar aku.
haha.
aku baru sedar aku photogenic pagi ni.

serius aku tak mintak korang komen kenyataan yang aku ni photogenic.

Lisa Surihani

Mesti korang semua kenal dengan lisa kn?. siapa yang kenal mesti jealous dengar cerita aku, sebab semalam aku dan dia bersiar-siar dan menghabiskan masa berharga besama. korang mesti tak percayakan? di sini aku sertakan buktinya, buktinya lihat gambar di bawah.

ketika gambar ini diambil photographer terlupa untuk membuka lense kameranya

 

 aku dah cuba edit pakai adobe photoshop tapi tetap tak berjaya

tapi ianya tetap satu bukti yang kukuh kan? kan?

tolong percaya, please.

IQ test

dalam banyak-banyak duit syiling, duit syiling apa yang paling gelap kat dunia ni?

korang rasa-rasa syiling mana?

jawapanya

50 cent!

hahahahaha

aku tulis blog ni pukul 4pagi lepas kalah main game, mouse rosak bukan aku tak hebat.

jangan salahkan aku kalau aku mengarut sebab aku separuh sedar dan tersentak selepas kekalahan yang memalukan.

TEKA - TEKI *ejaan dia ada dash or tak?

Dalam banyak-banyak binatang, binatang apa boleh petik buah?

mesti korang terpikir binatang atas ni kan? that means IQ korang adalah averange. ya dia boleh petik buah dan sekarang dia juga boleh menunggang motosikal.

kalau orang genius macam aku, yang akan thinking outside the box akan jawab

 UDANG GALAH.

korang pun tau kenapa.

serius aku lapar. tak tipu. sumpah..